Driving a Soccer Van | How to Look Cool?

I sold my convertible and bought a soccer van.  Not just any soccer van, mind you.  A silver 2006 Chrysler Town and Country.   Within 24 hours, I saw no less than 10 silver Town and Countrys on the road.  I have seen scores since.  Unless you drive a vintage classic, you don’t really notice how many cars like yours are out there until you purchase one.  

Thus, I have lost my identity.  I forfeited my little drop-top 5 speed GLS Cabrio that girls actually looked at (the car, not me) in favor of practicality.  For a guy with lifelong youth issues when it comes to automobiles, this is traumatic.  

Mind you, it’s not all bad.  It does have a sunroof.  I looked and looked for a convertible model, but finally resigned myself to the fact that Chrysler never built one.  Dodge’s stowaway seats are great.  The  two back seats and the rear bench fold down into holds in the floor, converting the van to a light duty cargo van.  For moving artwork and and show gear, this is awesome.  The seats can then be returned to their original position, making the van dual purpose.

And, I actually enjoy driving it.  Problem is, there is simply no way to look cool doing so.  I asked a friend who once owned a Ford Aerostar for advice.  She told me “Wear dark glasses.  Avoid routes your friends use often.  Night travel is recommended.”  I did take her advice and wear my Ray-Ban pilot glasses when driving, but I don’t think it helps.  I bought dice valve stem caps.  They got a laugh or two, but it’s still like putting lipstick on a pig.

And, while the van may be the most sensible way to make a trip to Florida, it’s just not the same as cramming your stuff into the trunk, back seat and  floorboards, dropping the top and blasting off southbound.  And let’s face it, cruising the strip or the beach in a van is simply not the same as in a convertible.

Such is life.  I have traded sport for sensibility.  So, if you happen to notice me in my Silver Soccer Van, smile and give me a thumbs up… I will return the gesture and Keep Cruisin’!  –J.